Kanye West Isn’t a Jerk – 5 Lessons in friendship from Kanye

Alright, alright we all saw it. Kanye West did what? Again? To who? What a jerk! Right?

I agree with most of you. Punking a sweet girl like Taylor Swift and robbing her of her once-in-a-lifetime moment on national TV in front of millions of people was pretty uncool. To quote Ye, “How could you be so heartless?”

So now that I have that out of the way, it’s time for me to talk about the other side of the story, the side where Kanye felt passionately about sticking up for and speaking out for a good friend of his. (Don’t get it twisted, I don’t agree with the WAY he did it.)

Good friends, real friends, are not always as common as people want to believe.

Before I moved to Japan, I had a huge going away party. Close to 200 of what I thought were my closest friends, came to say sayonara. I remember feeling like such a celebrity. I couldn’t believe I had that many friends.

Turns out, I didn’t.

A little over a year later I had a “Homecoming” party. 11 people showed up… and even that was probably twice as many as needed to be there. I realized pretty quickly that when it comes to friends, quality beats quantity every time.

Having great friends is important. Being a great friend is more important.

Here for your reading pleasure is the 5 lessons we can learn from Kanye West on being a great friend. (Which have been cleverly paired with songs by ‘Ye)

“Everything I am” – Be Real.

Pretending to be someone you aren’t isn’t cool at all. Everyone can agree that Kanye West is who is. He doesn’t try to be someone he isn’t and he doesn’t try and fit in with certain people. He is who is and he doesn’t expect everyone to like that.

By being real, you earn trust. People know what to expect from you. They know that they can count on you the same way we can count on Kanye to crash the stage at award shows.

Don’t try and be someone else. If you have to fake your personality to try and be friends with someone, they’re probably not worth being friends with.

I guess that means I can take off these glow-in-the-dark sunglasses and skinny jeans now.

“Heard Em Say” – Listen.

Good friends listen. Period.

Did you hear me? Hey you! Are you listening?

Good friends listen.

They don’t listen waiting for the other person to shut-up so they can talk. They really listen. Sometimes they listen to give advice. Sometimes they listen to give hope and sometimes, they just listen.

People have ups-and-downs and good friends are the ones who are there to listen to the parts about the “Good Life” and they also listen when it “All Falls Down”

Be the person who people feel comfortable coming to. Be a friend who will listen without judging.

“Can’t Tell me Nothing” – Speak Up, Speak Out.

As much as Beyonce was clearly appalled by Kanye’s actions, I’m sure there is a small corner of her heart that was slightly touched by his craziness.

Good friends speak-up and stand-up for each other. They don’t talk about each other behind their backs. They lend strength and support to their friends in times of need. And if they hear someone spreading “Bad News” about their friends, they speak-up for them. That’s what friends do.

That’s what Kanye did. He was doing what he felt a good friend should do. He thought a friend of his was being treated unfairly (it wasn’t anything personal against Taylor Swift), so he did what he thought was right at the time.

“Apology” – Apologize.

Everyone makes mistakes. I do, you do and Kanye does but not everyone has the courage to apologize.

When you make a mistake, when you hurt your friends, talk to them. Do whatever you need to do to let them know you were wrong and that you feel bad about it. Apologize. The last thing you want to have is a small misunderstanding transform into a reason you lose a friend.

You might not have to make a tearful appearance on the Jay Leno show or write about it in your blog but you need to apologize. Most times the simplest apology is enough.

Saying sorry shows and tells your friends that you care and sometimes apologies lead to new friends or “Stronger” friendships. I am sure Kanye and Beyonce will still be friends. I am willing to bet that Kanye apologized and is probably STILL apologizing.

My other prediction, Kanye West + Taylor Swift = NEW BFF’s. You heard it here first.

“Two Words” – Give and Take.

Good friends give and take.

After a quick view of my *legally purchased* iTunes library and reading a Wikipedia entry, I counted over 100 collaborations that Kanye has been a part of and hundreds more that he produced. From Jay-Z, Dilated Peoples and Lil Wayne to Patti Labelle, Keri Hilson and Ne-Yo, Kanye has contributed to tons of other people’s careers.

Taking a look at the track listings of his albums, you will see that a lot of the artists that ‘Ye has helped have also helped him.

That’s what good friends do. At certain times they give and at other times they take. Friends look out for one another and lend a hand to each other but they’re also not afraid to ask for a hand in times of need. (Kanye wrote a book about this called “Thank You and You’re Welcome”)

Be the type of friend who helps but don’t let it be one-sided. If you need advice, help with something, someone to talk to or even a haircut, ask your friends. Your real friends will be there. Trust me

I know everyone wants to write Kanye hate mail and tweet about how he’s the world’s biggest jerk, but “Breathe in, Breathe Out” and cut him some slack. He was doing what he thought an “Amazing” friend should do. There was probably a better way of doing it but he did what he thought he should do.

You can’t hate a person for that.

Tags: beyonce, friendship, how to be a good friend, kanye west, ryan porter

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 17th, 2009 at 10:51 am and is filed under Make Your Own Lunch, You, Me, Him & Her. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.